<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>B R O K E N by CassieJohnson05</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29713995">B R O K E N</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassieJohnson05/pseuds/CassieJohnson05'>CassieJohnson05</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>MacGyver (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:07:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29713995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassieJohnson05/pseuds/CassieJohnson05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I just feel so broken.” </p><p>“That’s okay. I’ll be here to pick up the pieces.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>B R O K E N</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsaBex/gifts">WhatsaBex</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/refinedbuffoonery/gifts">refinedbuffoonery</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I normally post the note at the end but this one needs to be it at the beginning. If you don’t have kleenex, ice cream and alcohol, you should go grab some. I was essentially trying to come up with a one shot that wasn’t depressing as hell but my brain was like, “no no no Cassie.” I wasn’t going to write this but I decided to seeing as we weren’t getting a new episode today. As for the summary there’s not much of one seeing as anything I’d put would give away the entire plot, so I picked my favorite dialogue which the title is based off of. Now, if y’all don’t want to kill me by the time you finish reading B R O K E N, I could write this from Mac’s perspective, if you’d like. I have some stuff already written from his perspective. I decided to dedicate this one to Beth &amp; Bex because they were the only two I told this idea to. They also encouraged me to write it seeing as I was hesitant. Anyways, I hope y’all still like me after this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Riley and Mac were outside on the back patio just enjoying each other’s company, gazing at the sky full of stars, after a long day of doing what they do best, saving lives while trying their best not to die in the process. Riley could tell that something was bothering him, ever since he got that call on the flight home he wasn’t himself. She moved closer to Mac who was deep in thought. Riley wrapped her arms around Mac as she just wanted the world to stop. Anytime she was in his arms, her heart started to race, she couldn’t help but wonder if he could feel her heart racing. </p><p>“Mac?” Riley asked as she pulled out of their embrace so she could read his face. She needed to know what was going on inside that mind of his.</p><p>“Yeah Riles?” Mac responded as he knew exactly what was going through Riley’s mind.</p><p>“Is everything alright? You’ve been acting a little off since you got a phone call on the flight home. You don’t have to tell me, but if you want to talk about it, but just know that I’m here.” </p><p>“But I do have to tell you. We don’t keep secrets from each other.” Mac sighed before continuing. “Carlos called me. He’s back in Afghanistan. He called me because he needs my help locating and defusing a bomb. I told him I needed to talk to you first because you’re the most important person in my life and this isn’t a decision that I’m making alone. You and I we’re a package deal.”</p><p>“Mac, my input on what you should do shouldn’t matter. If you want to help then I say you should go. But if you don’t want to do it you don’t have to. I know you feel like you’re obligated to but you’re not. If you’re worried about me, don’t be. I’ll be okay.”</p><p>“I know. I know. I just can’t help but think about what happened to Jack. I know how his death affected you and the thought of possibly not making it back home to you worries me. The last thing I want to do is die on you.” Mac confessed as Riley was his reasoning behind every decision he makes.</p><p>“Listen, we deal with life and death situations every single day. When I’m not with you out in the field I worry until you walk through those doors. I’m unable to relax until I feel your arms around me. Losing Jack was hard on the both of us. But I know you’d come home to me after all, if you didn’t, I’d bring you back to life only to kill you again for dying on me. At the end of the day this is your decision, if you decide to go you damn well better come home to me.” Riley explained as she kissed Mac’s cheek before getting up from the embrace she shared with him.</p><p>“Where are you going, Riles?” </p><p>“I’m going to give you some time to think.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Mac smiled as he began to weigh the pros and cons of leaving Riley for who knows how long so he could help Carlos. He knew that both of them would be okay with whatever decision he made.</p><p>Riley quickly changed into something more comfortable—one of Mac’s MIT T-shirts. She made her way back outside to Mac. She watched him as he hung up his phone. She knew he made his decision before she even walked back into the house to change. Riley saw Mac smile as she walked over to him in nothing but his MIT T-shirt. She returned the smile as she found herself crawling into his lap, wrapping her hands around his neck as he wrapped his hands around her waist. </p><p>“Damn you look good in my shirt. I don’t think I’ll ever get use to that.” Mac chuckled as he took in her scent. </p><p>“When do you leave?” Riley asked as she ran her fingers through his hair.</p><p>“Wait, how did you know what I decided? I didn’t even say anything.”</p><p>“You didn’t have to, I know you better than you know yourself. I know that you wouldn’t be able to deal with the thought of not being able to help Carlos. At the end of the day he’d do the same for you.” </p><p>“I hate that you know me so well. I leave tomorrow night.” </p><p>“Wow. That’s so soon. Have you told Matty and the others yet?”</p><p>“I informed Matty of what was happening. She said she’d tell everyone else. Right now I have something more important that needs my attention.” Mac smirked as he pulled Riley closer to him.</p><p>“Oh yeah? What’s that something that needs your undivided attention?” Riley asked, deciding to play, along but she knew exactly what he was referring to.</p><p>“You.” Mac smiled before he crashing his lips against her. Riley wrapped her hands around his neck as he stood up with her in his arms. As he made his way inside to the bed they shared together neither one of them broke the kiss. They both knew that this would be their last night together for who knows how long and they were going to make the best of it. </p><p>Riley was the first to wake up as she felt Mac’s arms wrapped around her. She’d be lying if she said she wish they couldn’t just stay like this forever. She knew in just a matter of hours she’d have to say goodbye to Mac and she wasn’t ready for that. Riley lay there in their bed in his arms as she watched Mac sleep. She slowly unwrapped Mac’s arms from her body. She was in desperate need of some black coffee. She threw on Mac’s MIT T-shirt, but before she could even make her way out the door she was stopped.</p><p>“Where do you think you’re going, Ms. Davis?” Mac asked as he sat up to see that Riley had stopped and turned around to look at him. Mac ran his fingers through his hair as he didn’t take his eyes off of Riley. How could he when she was wearing his T-shirt?</p><p>“Well, Mr. MacGyver. If you must know I’m in need of some coffee.” </p><p>“Is that so? Because I think you’re in need of something else.” Mac responded as he got up walking over to Riley. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed her neck. </p><p>“I hate you.” Riley smirked as she turned around so that she was now facing him before pulling his lips to hers.</p><p>“I beg to differ, Riles.” Mac retorted as Riley pushed him back onto the bed before climbing on top of him. Mac pulled her waist closer to him as their lips met. </p><p>“Can I go get my coffee now?”<br/>
Riley ran her fingers through his hair as he held her ever so tightly. Mac leaving would be difficult for the both of them, especially her. But he promised he’d never leave her, he’d always come back to her. That’s a promise she knew he intended to keep.</p><p>“As long as you come back.” </p><p>“You know we’re going to have to get out of bed at some point today. You have to pack and you need to say goodbye to Bozer, Matty and the others. Plus, knowing Matty, she already has your replacement picked out. Knowing you, you’re going to want to meet them to make sure we’re in good hands while you’re away.” Riley said as she kissed his cheek before throwing his shirt back on, so she could make her way into the kitchen for coffee. </p><p>After Riley had at least two cups of her famous black coffee, she decided it was time to get ready for the day. She walked back into the bedroom to see Mac standing in their bathroom in nothing but a towel. “I’m going to take a shower. You better have saved me some hot water.” </p><p>“Always. I’m going to go get dressed and start packing.” Mac said as he placed a kiss on her lips before making his way out of the bathroom leaving her to take a shower.</p><p>Riley walked out of the bathroom to see Mac sitting at her desk. She didn’t question it, but she knew Mac better than anyone, so she knew that he wrote her a just in case he didn’t make it home letter. God, she hoped she’d never have to read it. She quickly got dressed as she and Mac would have to meet everyone at the Phoenix so Mac could say goodbye to them. </p><p>Riley could tell Mac was lost in his thoughts as she climbed into his lap, she felt him pull her as close as he could to him. “You ready to go?” Riley whispered as she hoped that he’d say no and they could just stay there for a bit longer.</p><p>“Yeah. Come on.” Mac said as he waited for Riley to get up from his lap so he could stand. Mac grabbed his bag before he took Riley’s hand in his hand. They made their way to the front door, Mac took one last look around his place, the place he felt at home before he closed the door. </p><p>Riley handed Mac the keys to the GTO, she never let him drive, but figured she’d let him drive just this once. Mac couldn’t help but smile which caused Riley to smile. He threw his bag in the back seat before opening the passenger door for his girl. </p><p>“Thanks.” Riley smiled as she got into the passenger seat. Mac waited until Riley put her seatbelt on before closing the door and making his way over to the driver’s side. </p><p>“You never let me drive the GTO.” Mac laughed as he put his seatbelt on before putting the key into the ignition. “Thanks.” He smiled as he took her hand in his entwining their fingers together. He was soaking up the time he had left with her. </p><p>“You’re a terrible driver, that’s why I never let you drive. Jack would come back to haunt the both of us if anything happened to his baby. The last thing we need is for that to happen. I think you can manage driving to the Phoenix Foundation without any kind of incident.” </p><p>Mac and Riley made the drive to the Phoenix in silence. They were lost in their own thoughts,  but their fingers were still entwined together. Traffic wasn’t too bad, so they made it to their destination in half the time it normally takes them to get from point A to point B. Riley watched Mac as he grabbed his bag from the backseat of the GTO. He ran over to her, tucking her in into his side. He felt her wrap her arms around his abdomen, causing him to kiss the top of her head. This was their way of ensuring the other that no matter what happened after today it would all be okay. </p><p>Once inside, they made their way to the war room where Matty, Bozer, Russ and Desi were waiting for them. Mac took a deep breath as he and Riley stopped outside of the war room. “You ready?” Riley asked as she smiled, trying to hide how terrified she was. </p><p>“I am ready as I ever be.” Mac said he kissed Riley before they made their way inside. Mac let go of Riley’s hand as she watched him walk over and pull Bozer aside to talk to him in private. Riley tried not to wonder what they’d be talking about. To keep her mind busy she decided to introduce herself to Mac’s replacement. </p><p>As Riley was making small talk with Matty and the others she couldn’t help but watch Bozer and Mac over in the corner talking. She could tell that it was pretty serious just by Mac’s body language and that’s when she saw Mac check to make sure no one was looking before he handed Bozer an envelope. This confirmed her suspicion of what he was doing at her desk while she was in the shower Mac had in fact written her a just in case I don’t make it back home letter.</p><p>Riley felt Mac place his hand on the small of her back. She was so used to him sneaking up on her that now when he did it, it didn’t phase her. “You okay?” Riley whispered as she leaned herself into Mac’s body.</p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>“Mac, this is Kyle. He’ll be taking over for you while you’re away. Kyle is this Mac.” </p><p>“Nice to meet you, Kyle. You have the best group of people to back you up on missions.” Mac said as he shook his replacement’s hand. </p><p>“Nice to meet you too, Mac. I’ve heard nothing but great things about everyone, especially you. It’s going to be hard to fill your shoes while you’re away. Just make sure you come back to them.”</p><p>“You’ll be fine. Oh trust me, I have every intention of coming back. Nothing and no one is going to keep me away.” </p><p>“Angus, do you know how long you’ll be gone?” Russ asked as he took a sip of the most expensive scotch he owned.</p><p>“Honestly, I have no idea. It could be weeks, months, a year. Who the heck knows.”</p><p>“Well, Blondie,  you better come back to us because we can’t do this without you. The Phoenix would fall apart without you.” Matty exclaimed as she wasn’t ready to lose another agent, she hoped he knew how important he was to the team.</p><p>“You got it, Boss.” Mac smiled,  hoping Matty would catch that he understood that she was being serious especially after what happened with Jack. </p><p>“Mac, you’ve gotta get going, if you’re going to make it to the airport in time to catch your flight.” Riley said as felt all eyes on her. </p><p>“Alright.” Mac said as he pulled Bozer in for a hug, then he hugged Matty and Desi before shaking Russ and Kyle’s hands. He knew there’s no way in hell he could hug Russ without him making it awkward and as for Kyle he just met the guy. </p><p>Riley decided to head out into the hall to give Mac a few minutes to say his goodbyes. Plus, she needed a a minute to herself as it was all becoming a little too real for her. Riley was lost in her own thoughts as she didn’t know that Mac was now standing there in front of her watching her. Mac stood there as he studied her facial expressions, he knew that she was doing her best to put on a brave face for him. He gave her a second more to herself before he interrupted.</p><p> “Penny for your thoughts?” Mac asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist causing Riley to come back to reality.</p><p>“What did you say?” Riley responded with a question of her own as she placed her hands over Mac’s hands. </p><p>“Penny for your thoughts, Riley?” </p><p>“Nothing you need to worry about. Did you say your goodbyes to everyone?”</p><p>“Almost. I have one more goodbye to go.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?”</p><p>“Yes Ma’am.” </p><p>“You better get to it then. You don’t want to miss your flight.” </p><p>“Come on..” Mac said as he broke free from their embrace taking her hand leading her down the hallway away from their friends. </p><p>“Mac, what are you doing?” Riley asked as she couldn’t tell where his head was at. </p><p>Riley had no idea what was going on as Mac led them to the server room so they could have a few minutes alone. She stood there as she watched him close the door behind him before making his way over to her. </p><p>“Riles, let it out. You don’t have to hide how you’re feeling from me. It’s okay if you’re not okay with me leaving. I know you’re scared that I may not come back. Don’t tell me you’re fine because I know you better than anyone just like you know me better than anyone.” Mac said as he pulled her into his arms. He felt her wrap her arms around him as well. </p><p>“You’re right. I’m scared that you’re not coming back. I’m scared that there’s the possibility that I may have to spend the rest of my life alone without you. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too. I thought that I could put on a brave face until you got on the elevator and the doors closed, but then you started to say your goodbyes to everyone and reality had begun to set in. I just knew I was cracking. I’m sorry. You have more important things to worry about.” Riley whispered the last little bit as she didn’t dare look Mac in the eye.</p><p>“I get it. I do. I’m scared too. Last time I was in Afghanistan I didn’t have to worry about anyone but myself. This time it’s different because I have you to worry about. You’re going to be the one person who keeps me going while I’m away. Knowing that I have you to come home to when this is all over is the only reason I know I’ll make it back home. You’re my reason for everything that I do. I know that you feel like you need to act like you’re okay with me leaving, but you don’t have to. I’d be really concerned if you acted as if this wasn’t bothering you. You have nothing to be sorry about. You’re wrong, you’re the most important person in my life. Every day that I’m gone, I’m going to worry about you. I know you can handle yourself, but knowing that I’m not here if something were to happen to you scares me.” Mac said as Riley finally looked at him. </p><p>“You’ve gotta get going.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Come on.” Riley said as she started to pull Mac towards the door. </p><p>“Wait.” Mac stopped as he pulled Riley back to him. He wrapped his arms around her and then he kissed the top of her head. They stayed like this for a few minutes before Riley was the first to pull away. </p><p>Riley didn’t say anything as she entwined her fingers with Mac, but that didn’t last long as he tucked Riley into his side. Neither one of them said anything as they made their way down the hall. Mac stopped outside the war room so he could grab his bag. He gave everyone one last wave before making his way down the hall to the elevator. Mac let out a sigh as he and Riley stopped walking once they reached the elevator. Riley pushed the button. However long it took for the doors to open was the time she had left with her favorite blonde hair, blue eyed genius. Mac didn’t say anything as he pulled Riley into a hug. It was now getting real for the both of them. He held her tightly as he could feel her heart racing. It wasn’t long before the doors to the elevator opened. </p><p>Mac pulled away from their hug first, only to see that Riley had begun crying.  He did the only thing he could do, he wiped away the tears with the sleeve of his jacket. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.” </p><p>“You better come back. We have a deal remember?”</p><p>“Absolutely. After all, we’re a package deal.” </p><p>“I love you, Mac.”</p><p>“I love you more than you’ll ever know, Riles.” Mac smiled as he gave her one last kiss. Their last kiss was the one thing that both of them would end up holding onto until Mac returned home. Riley was the first to break away. </p><p>Mac could see that their friends were standing behind them watching them say goodbye. Mac felt at ease that they’d all be okay until he got home. “Bye Mac.” </p><p>“See you later.” Mac gave Riley a small smile before getting on the elevator.</p><p>Riley watched as the elevator doors closed, signaling that her time with Mac had come to an end for the time being. She stood there for a few minutes waiting for him to come back even though she knew he wouldn’t. She felt someone tap her shoulder, causing her to turn around. To her surprise it was Desi and not Bozer. Desi’s heart broke to see her friend so broken, she did the only thing she could do she pulled Riley into a hug. It didn’t take long for Bozer to join in on the hug as well. </p><p> </p><p>A few weeks had gone by since Mac’s departure. Riley kept to herself when it came to Mac. She tried to keep herself busy with work, but every night she went home to the place she shared with Mac where she was reminded of the emptiness that she felt. She knew that the likelihood of hearing from Mac while he was in Afghanistan helping Carlos was slim, but she’d give anything to hear his voice. She was extremely grateful for everyone, especially Bozer and Matty, they would take the time to come over for dinner at least once a week. Sometimes Desi and her girlfriend, Natalia would even join them, but it wasn’t very often. Bozer would cook, of course. He wouldn’t allow anyone else to do it. Riley knew that was his way of coping with Mac being gone. She wasn’t about to take that away from him. She had her own things she did to help her cope with the absence of Mac. </p><p>Tonight, the whole gang decided to join the weekly dinner at Riley &amp; Mac’s place. Riley was grateful to have them around. Bozer prepared breakfast for dinner that included a breakfast pizza, waffles, chocolate chip pancakes and fruit salad with orange juice or apple juice. Russ, Kyle and Matty were helping Bozer set the table while Desi and Riley were making small talk.</p><p>“Riley, are you okay?” Desi asked as she could tell something had been bothering her. She noticed a changed in her friend a few days ago.</p><p>“Yeah, I am okay. I just miss Mac not to mention I’m not feeling well.” Riley responded as she gave Desi a small smile.</p><p>“I’m sorry. Just know I’m here if you ever need to talk. I know I’m not Mac, but I can listen.”</p><p>“Thanks Des.” </p><p>“Okay ladies, dinner is served.” Bozer yelled over from the table where he was standing. Riley and Desi both made their way over to the table where the others had already picked their spots.</p><p>“Riley, have you heard from Blondie?” Matty asked as she took a bite of the fruit salad. </p><p>“Unfortunately I haven’t. I know that I may not hear from him at all. I understand that, but I honestly worry that someone is going to show up at my door telling me that he’s gone just like they did with Jack.” </p><p>“Well, Mac is coming back. He made a promise to all of us. He’s not one to break a promise, especially to you Riley.” Bozer interrupted as he wanted to reassure his sister that nothing bad would happen to the most important person in her life. </p><p>“I know, Boze. Can you excuse me for a second?” Riley didn’t wait for anyone to respond as she got up from the table.</p><p>Riley made her way inside of  the house where she’d find herself in the bathroom. She started to go through the cabinets until she found what she was looking for, a pregnancy test. Earlier when she was talking with Desi she realized that she was in fact late. Riley’s period was pretty punctual, but with Mac being gone, she hadn’t even realized she was late. Not feeling well was one sign, but being late was her biggest clue. Riley took a deep breath before opening up the box. She read through all of the directions seeing as she has never needed to take a test before. Riley followed the directions, set a timer on her phone for the time it would take to give her the results from the test. As she sat there she had a million things that ran through her head. Riley had no idea how she was going to tell Mac, let alone if he even wanted to have kids. She had no idea how she was going to do this if she was in fact pregnant. Going out into the field would be a big no no, she’d be stuck in the war room and she wouldn’t be able to drink when she wanted. Riley was lost in her thoughts when the timer she set went off. She picked up her phone to turn off the timer. </p><p>Riley took a deep breath before checking the results of the test. She felt her legs begin to shake as she stared at the test. It was positive. Riley found herself sliding her body into the floor as she cried. She had no idea how she was going to do this. The one person she needed the most wasn’t there. Riley continued to sob as she held the test in her hand. </p><p>“Riley, are you okay? You’ve been gone awhile. Everyone is starting to get worried.” Desi called out as she knocked on the bathroom door startling Riley.</p><p>“I’m okay.” Riley responded back as she wiped away her tears and hid the test in a drawer before standing up to open the door. As she opened, the door she saw a concerned Desi standing on the other side.. </p><p>“You’re not okay. That’s completely fine. You’re starting to feel the pressure of Mac’s absence. That’s completely normal.” </p><p>“I’m pregnant.” Riley blurted out as her eyes went wide when she realized what she had said.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay. You’re not alone. We’ve got you.”</p><p>“What am I going to do?” </p><p>“You’re going to take care of yourself and that bun in the oven of yours.” </p><p>“I can’t do this without him.” Riley said as she made her way over to the bed taking a seat. Desi took a seat next to her as she pulled her into a hug. </p><p>“I know, but he’ll be home before you know it. If there’s one thing I know about Mac, he’s going to be over the moon about this. I know you’re disappointed that he’s not the first person you get to share the news with but he’ll just be happy that you and the baby are happy and healthy. The both of you are going to make amazing parents!” Desi said as she tried to ease Riley’s thoughts. She felt Riley lean her head on her shoulder. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. I couldn’t stop myself. I’m not ready to tell the rest of the gang. I need a few days to come to terms with this. Thank you, Desi.”</p><p>“Anytime, Ri. Just know when Bozer finds out he’s calling dibs on being the baby’s godfather. Gosh, I just realized that your kid is going to be a fucking genius.” </p><p>“I wouldn’t expect anything less from Boze. Oh shit, a kid that’s half myself and Mac. Lord help us. Can you just tell everyone I ended up going to bed early?”</p><p>“Sure thing. You call me if you need anything. Don’t forget to make a doctor’s appointment. I’d be more than happy to go with you. Get some rest.” Desi smiled as she made her way to the door, closing it behind her leaving Riley alone with her thoughts.</p><p>Riley waited a few weeks before telling everyone about her pregnancy. Everyone was ecstatic for her, especially Bozer. He acted just as Riley expected he would. He started giving her a list of baby names for both boys and girls. Now Riley had Bozer and Desi to go to doctor appointments if need be. She felt a sense of relief that she wasn’t keeping this huge secret anymore. There wasn’t a day that she didn’t imagine about telling Mac and how he’d react to the news. Riley sat there in the war room as Matty informed them of their next mission.</p><p>“Riley you’ll be the war room with me from now on unless you’re absolutely needed out in the field. The last thing I need is you getting hurt and Blondie finds out. I’d never hear the end of it, if anything happened to you or that baby. I know he doesn’t know yet but once he does; if I were to let you out in the field, we’d all be in hot water.” Matty explained as she knew that family meant everything to Mac especially Riley. While her favorite agent is away, she vowed to do everything to protect Riley and the future Riley or Mac 2.0. She had no idea who the kid would be more like, she knew that the kid would grow up to be like both Mac and Riley though. </p><p>“I know. I’d never hear the end of it either. I can just imagine him being all protective more than usual, even after Baby Mac arrives, I’ll never be allowed out in the field.” Riley chuckled at the thought of the possibility of Mac trying to tell her what she could and couldn’t do. </p><p>“Alright, the rest of you have a flight to catch. You better get a move on.” </p><p>Riley and Matty were left in the war room while Bozer joined everyone else out in the field. Matty looked over the woman who she had grown to love as one of her own. She couldn’t believe that Riley was expecting. She knew that Riley would make an amazing mother and she couldn’t wait to witness that. Matty wasn’t about to let Riley go through this on her own especially with Mac being unreachable. </p><p>Over the next few days, even weeks, she was struggling. Riley’s pregnancy had been anything but easy. Doctor Moreno, her OB informed her that her pregnancy was in the high risk category, meaning her life and her unborn baby’s life could possibly be in danger. In was at this moment she truly needed Mac. She needed him to tell her that everything was going to be okay, that they’d get through whatever life threw at them. Riley didn’t inform anyone not even Boze or Des of her high risk pregnancy. The last thing she wanted to do was to worry them.</p><p>Five months that’s how long it had been since Mac left for Afghanistan to help Carlos locate and defuse the bomb. Everyday and night Riley worries for his safety. She couldn’t bring herself to sleep in their bed alone, it just didn’t feel right. She’d fall asleep in the guest bedroom which Bozer and Desi were helping her turn into the nursery, but lately she’d fall asleep on the couch playing video games. Riley knew that the couch wasn’t comfortable, but she had no willpower to make her way down the hall to the guest bedroom. </p><p>Riley texted Matty that she had a last minute doctor’s appointment, so she wouldn’t be there for the briefing, but she would be there as soon as she could. As she sat there waiting for the nurse to come get her, Riley couldn’t help but feel like something wasn’t right. She did her best to try and calm herself, she found herself imagining Mac telling her that everything was going to be okay. </p><p>“Riley.” Caitlin her nurse called. Riley took a deep breath before getting up and walking over to Caitlin. She placed her hand on her stomach hoping that would calm her nerves.</p><p>“Morning, Caitlin.” Riley said as she tried to act as if she was okay, but deep down she was terrified. </p><p>“Good morning. You doing alright? You seem a little stressed.” Caitlin said as she observed Riley’s body language.</p><p>“Honestly? No. I have this bad feeling. I don’t know how to explain it, but something just feels off.” </p><p>“I’m sure everything is okay. Now let’s get you settled in.” </p><p>“I hope you’re right.” Riley smiled softly not wanting to think about the what ifs anymore. </p><p>As Riley sat there waiting for Dr. Moreno, her nerves started to get the best of her. She couldn’t help but think if her uneasy feeling had to do with Mac or if it had to do with the baby. Her mind was going through every worse case scenario. Soon, Dr. Moreno walked through the door.</p><p>“Good Morning, Riley.” Dr. Moreno smiled softly as she could tell by the look on Riley’s face that she was feeling uneasy. “Let’s see how Baby MacGyver is doing today, shall we?”</p><p>“Okay.” Riley sighed as she was hoping that someone was looking out for her.</p><p>Dr. Moreno placed some of the cold gel on Riley’s ever growing belly. At this point it didn’t phase her she was used to it. The doctor started to run the ultrasound wand over the gel that was placed on Riley’s abdomen, not saying a word. “Riley. I’ll be right back.” Riley was left alone in the room with nothing but her thoughts. She couldn’t put her finger on it but she had a bad feeling. She needed Mac here with her, but she knew that wasn’t possible. </p><p>It didn’t take long for Dr. Moreno to return, but she wasn’t alone, Caitlin was with her. “Just tell me.” Riley whispered as she knew what was coming. </p><p>“Riley, I’m so sorry. There’s no heartbeat.” </p><p>“A stillbirth? Where do we go from here?” Riley asked as she was doing her best to keep it together. Her phone started to ring, she didn’t bother to answer or check to see who it was. Little did she know it was Mac calling. </p><p>“Riley, is there anyone we can call? You shouldn’t be dealing with this alone.” Caitlin asked as she felt her heart break for Riley.</p><p>“No. Now can you please answer my questions?” All Riley wanted was Mac there with her but that wasn’t possible. </p><p>“Yes a stillbirth. Your first option is that we induce you or your second option is a c-section. The first option is the safest of the two but it’s your decision. You don’t have to decide now. Take your time.”</p><p>“No. We’ll go with the c -section. I can’t wait. Please.” Riley pleaded as she held back her tears, she knew she couldn’t start to fall apart yet. Now wasn’t the time.</p><p>“Alright. Caitlin, let’s get her prepared for the c- section.” Dr. Moreno said as she walked out of the exam room.</p><p>“Riley, are you sure you don’t want me to call someone? Your mom perhaps?” </p><p>“The only person I want right now is in another country.” Riley sighed as she couldn’t help but think about how Mac had no idea about her pregnancy let alone their greatest loss.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.” Caitlin responded as she made her way outside into the hall closing the door behind her leaving Riley alone to process the news.</p><p>Caitlin knew that deep down she shouldn’t be denying Riley’s wishes not to contact anyone but she looked through Riley’s chart to see that if she had an emergency contact. She took out her phone and started to dial the number of the emergency contact. </p><p>“Hi, is this Matty Weber?” Caitlin asked as she watched Riley through the window. </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“I’m Caitlin, I’m here at the hospital with Riley. Unfortunately, she learned today that the baby is gone. I asked if there was anyone I could call, she said no. But I don’t think she should be alone. I know that her boyfriend is in another country right now so he has no idea what’s going on.”</p><p>“Thank you. We’ll be on our way.” Matty said as she hung up the phone. Now the mission that the team needed to go on didn’t seem so important. Matty’s heart was broken for Riley, and for the future she was supposed to have with Mac. </p><p>Matty walked into the war room to see that Bozer, Desi, Russ were all huddled together with Bozer’s phone on speaker. She knew that this conversation couldn’t wait and Bozer should be the one to tell him. </p><p>“Mac, when are you coming home?” Bozer asked not noticing Matty’s presence. </p><p>“I don’t know Boze. I’m trying to get ahold of Riley. Do you know where she is?” </p><p>“Bozer!” Matty said, startling everyone in the room. “I need to talk to you. Give the phone to Desi or Russ.” She watched as Bozer handed the phone off to Desi before joining Matty out in the hall. </p><p>“What’s going on Matty?” </p><p>“You have to tell Mac about the pregnancy. I just got a call from the hospital.” Matty sighed before continuing. “Unfortunately, Riley lost the baby. Mac needs to come home now. I know if Riley had her way he’d never know about this, but he needs to know now.” </p><p>“I can’t believe it. How? I don’t get it.” </p><p>“I know. Right now Riley needs our support. But first and most importantly, we need to tell Mac.” </p><p>“Got it.” Bozer said as he pulled himself together before making his way back into the war room. </p><p>“Do you miss us?” Russ asked who was now speaking to Mac. </p><p>“Yes, even you.” </p><p>“Russ, I need to talk to Mac.” Bozer said as he felt all eyes on him making him feel uneasy.</p><p>Bozer took a deep breath as he took the phone from Russ. He had no idea how he was going to tell him. Every thought that ran through his mind on how to tell Mac the unfortunate news that would turn his life upside down didn’t seem like it any of them would lessen the hurt he was about to inflict on him. Bozer pulled himself together before having to have the worse conversation he has ever had to have with Mac. </p><p>“Mac. There’s something you should know.”</p><p>“Alright, what is it?”</p><p>“After you left Riley found out that she was pregnant.”</p><p>“Wait, what? I’m going to be a dad?” </p><p>“Dude, there’s no easy way to say this, but Matty was just informed that the baby is gone. I’m so so very sorry, Mac. I don’t know all the details, but we’re going over to the hospital now. I don’t want to tell you what to do but Riley needs you to come home.” Bozer said as he knew the only people Mac and Riley needed were each other. </p><p>“I’m coming home. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Look after Riles until I get there, Boze.” </p><p>“Okay. You’ve got it. I’m heading to the hospital now. I’ll see you soon. Bye.” Bozer hung up the phone only to notice that all eyes were on him.  He was determined to keep his word about looking after his sister for Mac. He didn’t say another word as he made his way towards the door. He didn’t bother to see if the others were following.</p><p>A few hours had gone by since Riley’s emergency c-section, she was resting as comfortably as she could get. She felt as if there was now a missing piece inside of her. It didn’t seem possible that she was having to go through this. Not only was Riley dealing with the loss of her and Mac’s son, she was dealing with the possibility of never being able to have another baby. It was a lot for her to process. Caitlin had come to check in on her before her shift was over. Diane, Bozer, Matty, and Desi all tried to be there for her, but she just wanted to be alone. The one person she needed wasn’t there. </p><p>Riley laid there crying as she felt her whole life get turned upside down. All it took was a split second for that to happen. She kept going over everything that occurred earlier today in her head. She couldn’t help but blame herself for what happened. She knows that everyone says it wasn’t her fault and she wants to believe them but she just can’t. She cried until she fell asleep. </p><p>Riley woke up as she felt someone take her hand in theirs. She felt this hand caress her hand as she laid there with her eyes closed. She was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted to look to see who it was. It’s not like it would be Mac, the one person she needed more than anyone. “I’m here, Riles. I’m right here.” Riley heard Mac whisper. She couldn’t believe it, Mac was home. He was the one person she needed the most right now.</p><p>“Mac.” Riley whispered softly as she thought she was dreaming. She reached out to touch his face. She felt him place his hand over top of hers. It didn’t take her long to realize he was sitting by her bedside. He was home, he had come back to her. The look that she saw on his face was a look she wished she could unsee. It was the look of unimaginable heartbreak, something she wanted to protect him from. But she was unable to protect everyone involved in this situation. </p><p>“Hi, Love.” Mac whispered softly as he stood up from the chair he was sitting in to kiss her forehead hoping that would bring her some comfort.</p><p>“Mac…” Riley breathed as she looked at him as she was on the verge of crying again. All she wanted was for him to hold her, but it was as if he didn’t want to be anywhere near her making her feel worthless. “I need you.” Riley cried as she wiped away the tears from her face. “I need you to hold me. Please Mac.” </p><p>“Riles. Trust me, the first thing I thought about doing when I walked in here was crawling into bed with you, so I could hold you in my arms. I want to hold you more than you realize. But you just had major surgery. The last thing I want to do is cause you anymore pain. I don’t want to hurt you. You’ve been through a lot today.” Mac explained his reasoning for sitting by her bedside instead of holding her. It broke his heart to see her like this. </p><p>Riley could see that Mac was being hesitant on whether or not he should be holding her. It was the only thing she needed right now. “Mac, please. I’m doped up on pain medication, you holding me isn’t going to cause me any pain or break me for that matter. I need to feel something. Please. I need you.” Riley assured him as she found herself losing the last little bit of sanity she had left. She couldn’t help but sob as she just wanted him to make the hurt go away.</p><p>“Riley, honey. Please don’t cry. It breaks my heart to see you like this. If I end up hurting you I’m moving back to the chair. No arguments.” Mac said as he got up from the chair and made his way into her hospital bed. </p><p>Riley felt Mac wrap his arms around her gently being careful not to bring her any discomfort. She looked up at him to see his blue eyes staring back at her with the same amount of heartbreak that she could only assume he could see in her eyes. She felt a sense of comfort for the first time today as Mac kissed her forehead. She felt safest when she was in his arms. Mac. He was all she needed. She started to run her fingers through his blonde hair. It was the one thing she loved doing more than anything. She hoped that she was able to comfort him like he was comforting her. </p><p>“I’m so so so sorry. This is all my fault. I should have done a better job at protecting our son.” Riley murmured against his chest as the tears began to fall. If there was one person she could be vulnerable in front of it was him. </p><p>“Oh Riles. This isn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened. There’s nothing you or anyone could have done to prevent this from happening. You hear me? You did everything right.” Mac explained, hoping Riley wouldn’t blame herself, but he knew she wouldn’t stop blaming herself. He wiped away her tears with the sleeve of his red and black flannel, the one that Riley loved so much. He pulled her into the tightest hug he could give her without hurting her of course.</p><p>“When I found out I was pregnant, you were the first person I wanted to tell.” Riley said as she began to play with the collar of his flannel refusing to look at him. </p><p>“I should’ve never left you.” Mac sighed as he lifted her chin so she was now looking at him. </p><p>“Mac. You can’t do that. We had no idea that I was pregnant when you left. Not to mention I’m pretty sure the night before you left was when it happened.” </p><p>“You think?” Mac smiled as he thought about their last night together before he had left. </p><p>“Absolutely. The timing adds up.” Riley said as she thought about how this could very well tear their relationship apart. Mac could tell something was wrong.</p><p>“Riles, what is it? What’s wrong? Talk to me.” Mac said as he tried to read her facial expressions. He knew that this wasn’t easy for her. He wanted to fix this, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t make the pain go away. </p><p>“I just feel so broken.” </p><p>“That’s okay. I’ll be here to pick up the pieces.” </p><p>“Earlier today before I found out the news I had a feeling that something was wrong. I wasn’t sure if my feeling had to do with you or the baby. But I just couldn’t shake the feeling. Gosh, I hate this feeling. Mac, we never spoke about having kids. When I found out I was pregnant, I panicked because I had no idea how to feel about it let alone how you’d feel. I worried that you’d come home and tell me you didn’t want to have kids leaving me all alone to raise him. But Bozer reminded me everyday that you would never do that. I know that he was right, but I couldn’t help how I felt. I know I must sound like a terrible person for even thinking that you’d leave me. The last few months weren’t easy, but I was finally accepting the fact that I was bringing our son— your son into the world and now he’s gone. I didn’t even think of names for him. Now, I’m worried that you’ll leave me because I lost our son.” Riley confessed as the tears began to fall again. She couldn’t help how she felt. She felt terrible for even thinking it. She felt him kiss the top of her head as she clutched onto him a little tighter. </p><p>“Shhh Riles. It’s alright. I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay. I know we never talked about having kids. But I can tell you right now I wouldn’t leave you. Not now, not ever. I know that this whole situation sucks, but I’m here. Whatever you need, I’ve got you. I’m never leaving you. No matter what the future has in store for us you’re stuck with me. I can’t imagine what this whole experience has been like for you. I just wish I could have been here. For once in my life I’m unable to fix a situation. What do you need?” Mac responded as he didn’t know what to do for Riley. He needed her to tell him what she needs from him.</p><p>“Just hold me.” </p><p>“I can do that.” Mac smiled softly as he held her tighter than before, but he made sure he wasn’t causing her anymore pain as he held her. He hoped that comforting her was working as he knew that deep down there wasn’t much he could do.</p><p>“Mac?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“You know how you said that there’s nothing I could do to change what happened, the same goes for you. Even if you knew about the pregnancy from the beginning, there’s nothing you could have done to change the outcome. Yes, I had to go through this alone, but I’m not the only one who experienced a loss today. You have every right to feel however you’re feeling. He was your son just as much as he was mine. He was our son. Wait, did my mom and the others leave?” Riley asked as she looked out the window of her hospital room to see that there was no sign of anyone.</p><p>“I know. I just hate that I couldn’t protect you from this. If I was here you wouldn’t have gone through this alone. I had about ten seconds to process Bozer telling me about the pregnancy until he told me what happened. For those ten seconds I was excited. I was thrilled about the possibility of becoming the kind of dad I didn’t have growing up. I was imagining a child who was just as amazing as you are with your eyes and hair. Then when he told me the news I felt as if my world came crashing down around me. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you too. The thought of losing you kills me.” Mac let out a sigh as he looked at Riley who was trying so hard not to fall apart again. “I know that if you had your way that I would’ve never known about this, but I needed to know. I know that you think you’d be protecting me but I can handle it. I just knew that getting back here to you was the only thing that mattered. The bomb and helping Carlos became less important. When I arrived, I told them that they should all go home, including Diane. I said I would handle things. They informed me that they tried to be there for you, but you were pushing them away. Bozer told me that you may push me away as well, but I told him that you could push and push, but I wasn’t leaving you. You can push me away all you want, but I’ll push right back. I’m exactly where I need to be. I totally get it. I know he was but your grief is more important than mine.” Mac said as he finally let a few tears fall. Riley noticed this causing her heart to shatter more than it already was.</p><p>“Oh Mac. I’ve got you. I’m here. I despise that you know me too well. I’d only keep it from you to spare you the pain that I’m feeling because I know that you’d feel guilty for not being here.” Riley said as she ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed his forehead. “Your grief is just as important as mine. We both lost something today. We need to lean on each other as we continue to grieve. I can’t get through this without you. I pushed them away because the only person I needed was you. I’d like to think our son has your smile— dimples included. I think at some point Matty mentioned that you were on your way but I wasn’t listening. I need to ask you something.” Riley said as she looked as Mac who was staring at her.</p><p>“We’ll get through this together. Alright go for it.”</p><p>“Dr. Moreno informed me that due to the trauma my body went through it’s very possible I’ll never be able to have another baby. Are you okay if I never get pregnant again? Even if I could I’m not sure I could go through this again. Once is enough for me.”</p><p>“Kids or no kids, you’re stuck with me. If it’s just the two of us, that’s okay with me because you’re the most important person in my life. I’m with you regardless if there’s a mini us running around one day. Plus, if there ever comes a day where we decide we’re ready for kids we could always adopt. We don’t have to have our future figured out at this exact moment. Nothing else matters as long as we have each other. It’s late you need to rest.” </p><p>“Okay. You’re absolutely right. You should get home and get some sleep Mac. I’m sure you much rather sleep in your own bed. Also, you need to get that just in case letter that you wrote for me from Bozer and burn it. Yeah, that’s right I know about that.” </p><p>“I’m not leaving you here. I’m exactly where I need to be. I can sleep right here perfectly fine. We’re going home together, whether you like it or not. I’ll go home when you go home. My bed? I think you mean our bed. I had a feeling you might know about that. I know I shouldn’t have written it, but for my own sanity I needed to. Don’t worry Bozer has a whole burning ritual lined up for the infamous just in case letter. </p><p>“I guess you’re right. It’s our bed. Good. I don’t want to ever have to read it. Good night, Mac.” </p><p>“Of course I’m right. You won’t have to ever read it seeing as I’m never leaving you again. Good night!”</p><p>“I love you, Mac.” Riley blurted out as she realized that since he arrived home she had yet to say it. Not only did she feel the need to remind Mac that she loved him; she needed to remind herself.</p><p>“I love you more than you’ll ever know, Riles. I’ll never stop loving you. I promise.” Mac said as pulled Riley closer to him so he could kiss her. Riley could smell his scent, sandalwood. It made it her feel at home.</p><p>Riley had endured the worse kind of pain imaginable today. But she couldn’t help but feel like it would all be okay. As long as she and Mac had each other they could make it through anything, including the loss of their son. Riley knew that it would be hard and there could be times where it could possibly destroy her relationship with Mac, but at the end of the day neither she or Mac would give up. Mac was worth fighting for. She felt Mac tuck her into his side, bringing her the kind of comfort she longed for from him. She found herself wincing as she was still in a little bit of pain due to the c-section, but the pain didn’t bother her one bit as she needed him to hold her. She knew if she mentioned she was in pain he’d let her go and move back to the chair by her bedside. That’s the last thing she wanted let alone needed. </p><p>All Riley Davis needed in her life was Angus MacGyver who was fast asleep. As long as she had him by her side, she could handle anything life threw her way. She laid there in his arms, imagining the future they could have had. It was in that moment she realized what they would name the son they had lost, Jack, after the most important man in her and Mac’s lives. She knew that Jack would take care of her and Mac’s son. It gave her a sense of relief that Jack wouldn’t be alone anymore. She was never alone as she had Mac and her two guardian angels to look over her.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>